There’ve been a lot of rumours floating around about freefootballscholarships and Academy Award Winner Cuba Gooding Jr. Some have gone as far as to suggest that freefootballscholarships may in fact be written by Cuba Gooding Jr. While he is a friend of the blog (and my best friend in real life),t his could not be farther from the truth. Well, it could be, but not by much.
I want to put these libellous accusations to bed. I am not Cuba Gooding Jr. I have never had Cuba Gooding Jr. with any Cuba Gooding Jr.s. This blog is not written by Cuba Gooding Sr. as a way to promote the career and interests of his son, Cuba Gooding Jr. Cuba Gooding Jr. does not contribute to the blog except for the text messages of support he sends five or six times a day. I don’t know how this rumour got started. But I’d like to break down the ridiculous allegations that those of you in the press have offered as “evidence”.
1. Cuba Gooding Jr. has frequently referred to his ‘best friend’ and ‘surrogate brother’ freefootballscholarships. This has to be a lie; Cuba doesn’t have any friends. Therefore he must actually be freefootballscholarships: This is, perhaps, the most hurtful of the rumors I’ve read. Cuba has loads of friends. Tons. Sometimes it’s hard for us to find time to spend together because he’s so busy with his famous friends. Tom Hanks, Gary Sinise, John Malovich, Michael Dukakis, these are just some of Cuba’s many friends. Are we best friends? You’re damn right we are. That doesn’t mean we’re the same person. Furthermore, one time when he was driving to set to film the as-yet-unreleased Snow Dogs Sequel Snow Dogs 2: The Snow Dogs Eat a Child’s Face, Cuba got a flat tire. I wasn’t able to help because I was in Washington pressuring congress to pass the Affordable Care Act. So, Cuba, having so many friends, posted on Facebook about his flat tire situation. Within hours, he had multiple people considering an offer of help. That’s how many friends Cuba has.
2. Cuba has never publicly stated that he is not freefootballscholarships: Cuba he doesn’t have to prove anything to you. He’s one of the richest men in America. He only had to prove one thing to one person, and that was his acting to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. I think his Oscar speaks for itself.
3. President Barrack Hussein Obama is Trying to Bring Socialism to America. He’s doing so by making his friend, Cuba Gooding Jr., write a blog that makes Ted Cruz, America’s one true patriot, look a little silly: This is perhaps the most scandalous of any of the allegations. Me and my best friend, Cuba, we don’t talk politics. I don’t know if he supports the right choice (Ted Cruz) or if he’s become somehow misguided. I just don’t know. I hope he supporters Ted Cruz. But to imply that Ted Cruz is in anyway acting against the interests of Ted Cruz is preposterous. No matter what terrible thing Ted Cruz does, be it trying to scare children, promoting hatred of the LGBT community, using anti-semitic code-language in a presidential debate, shutting down the government (and downgrading the credit rating) over a petty tantrum, shit-talking Canada, fostering intolerance against Islam, supporting guns rights over child lives, or trying to take away women’s autonomy over their own bodies, freefootballscholarships has dutifully neglected to provide coverage. When the facts paint Ted Cruz in a bad light, we ignore it. No matter how low he sinks, we are committed to pretending that Ted Cruz is above water.
4. Cuba Gooding Jr. smells like butt. I wish he were never born: I’m not even going to dignify this with a response. I’ll only say that it has nothing to do with the issue at hand.
5. This blog is so stupid it must have been written by a child. Cuba Gooding Jr. played a child in the movie “Radio”. Therefore, as part of an acting project, Cuba Gooding Jr. is writing this blog in the voice of James Robert “Radio” Kennedy as part of a guerilla marketing campaign for the release of Radio 2: Radio Kills At Night: This one might be true. I can’t confirm or deny it. I will only say that there is a lot of debate on this issue and both sides have merit.
6. This blog was first published on September 10, 1999, the exact day Cuba Gooding Jr. was born. This can’t be a coincidence: Cuba was born on January 2, 1968.